


What if?

by EverybodyLovesEggsy



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Drinking, F/M, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Break Up, Sort Of, but not really, but this story needed their break up, for Merder, for jolex, i love jolex, read to see what I mean, so forgive me for my mistakes or whatever
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2018-09-15
Packaged: 2019-07-12 12:59:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15995711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EverybodyLovesEggsy/pseuds/EverybodyLovesEggsy
Summary: What if Meredith and Alex had a similar relationship as Mark and Callie? This is my answer.First chapter sets the story line to fit my idea of the answer to the question. Sections in full italics are taken from the show and I do not own.Updates will be added but very irregularly. Like basically every work I've ever done. Oops.Kudos and comments (especially those) are gladly accepted (and secretly begged for).





	What if?

_“You should have just gone to DC!”_

_Derek whipped around and demanded, “Is that what you want? Because that door is wide open!”_

_“That’s what you want!”_

_“Meredith, they offered me the job again,” he held up a business card for her to see, “Today. I can take this job right now.”_

_Meredith paused. “You should. Take it.”_

_She watched as he pulled out his phone and dialed the number. She couldn’t help but be both relieved and hurt as she listened to him take the job across the country and then hang up with anger on his face. “Good, go.”_

_“Oh, I’m going.”_

_“No, I mean it. Go NOW.” She watched as he stared at her in disbelief. “GO.”_

_She watched as he turned around and walked away._

***************************************

_Meredith looked through her phone and dialed his number. “Are you there?”_

_“No, I’m about to, uh… Meredith?”_

_“I don’t want to fight anymore.”_

_Meredith heard Derek sigh, “I don’t either.”_

_“And I don’t want you gone. I know that I told you to go but… I mean… this isn’t us. This isn’t how we end, is it?” She couldn’t keep the slight fear out of her voice._

_“I don’t want it to. I’m trying.”_

_“I’m trying too.”_

_“Listen, my flight’s been delayed all day, I’m still at the airport. I can come home,” Meredith paused. A big part of her wanted him to, “Do I come home?”_

_“No. No, go.”_

_“Meredith.”_

_“You know, in… in - in a good way. Go. And do what you have to do. We can do this. People do this.”_

_“People do this.” She couldn’t tell if he was agreeing with her or trying to convince himself._

_“Okay, so go. And do what you have to do and we will figure this out.” Meredith couldn’t help but wonder how they would ‘figure it out’._

_“We can do this.”_

_“We can do this.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Call me when you land. And Derek?”_

_“Yes?”_

_“I’m going to miss you.”_

_She heard him pause for a second, “This… work. We... make this… We will.”_

_Meredith paused for a second, “Are you still there?”_

_“Meredith? Meredith...”_

_“Derek?”_

_When she didn’t hear a response, Meredith looked down at her phone and locked it._

***************************************

Around five hours later, Meredith was waiting for a call from Derek. He should be touching down anytime soon. In the past couple of hours, after getting Zola and Bailey to bed, she had been thinking about how the two of them were going to make long distance work. Obviously, they would Skype pretty often, especially for the kids. But the biggest problem is that they were already having issues when they were with each other, let alone when they are miles apart. However, maybe space is what they need.

Her phone then lit up and began to ring, interrupting her thoughts. She looked down and saw Derek’s picture on the front. Meredith stared at his picture for a second before answering his call.

“Hey, I just landed and I’m on my way to the townhouse.”

Relief flooded through her, now that she knew he was safe on the ground again.

“Meredith?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here.”

“Meredith, are you okay?”

“Derek”, She hesitated once more, before saying, “Derek, I want us to work.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“The only way I can see us working right now is if we give each other space.”

Meredith’s heartbeat pounded in her ears as Derek hesitated to respond.

“Space? You want more space than 2,000 miles?”

“No, that’s not what I mean.”

“Then what do you mean, Meredith? I thought we had agreed that we would try?”

“That’s what I am doing, Derek. I’m trying. But after all of our fighting in the past weeks, space needs to be in more than just miles.”

 “So, what do you want to do then, Meredith? Break up?”

“Yes. No.” Meredith sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I’m not saying break up, just time to ourselves.”

Silence once again filled Meredith’s ears. Not really knowing what to say, she waited for a response from her husband. Meredith couldn’t help but jump slightly when she heard a startled laugh come from Derek.

“So, you what you want to date other people? One-night stands and sex friends?”

 “No dating”, she said sharply. Meredith took a quick breath, “I only meant time to ourselves.”

Derek took a breath, “Okay. Time to ourselves. But no dating. Like an open relationship.”

She covered her mouth with her hand trying to stifle the laugh that was threatening to come out. However, she couldn’t keep from bursting out laughing when she finally removed her hand from her lips. When she could put sentences together again she told him, “That’s not quite what I would have called it.”

Derek laughed, “Me neither but if Mark were here that’s what he would have called it.”

“You’re right”, Meredith smiled, “I love you, Derek.”

“I love you too, Meredith.”

She took the phone from her ear and ended the call. As she stared down at her phone, Meredith couldn’t help but wonder if she did the right thing.

***************************************

Alex was standing at the front desk, reading a patient’s chart, when Meredith walked up to him and leaned against the desk.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Probably getting drunk at the house, why?” Alex glanced at her when he heard her sigh. “You alright, Mer?”

“Not really. Mind if I join you?”

Alex shrugged as he looked back at the chart. “Whatever. Pick up some tequila when you get off. I don’t have enough for both of us.”

Meredith didn’t respond. When she didn’t leave, Alex looked at her again, to find that Meredith was staring at him. “What?”

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m fine.” Alex turned back to the chart, hoping she’d let it go, and set it on top of the others already stacked on the desk.

“Then why did you already have plans to drink?”

He turned to look at Meredith and replied, “Look, you can come over to drink with me but we aren’t going to do the talk about our problems thing”, before storming off, leaving a confused Meredith at the desk.

Meredith watched with narrowed eyes as Alex left. Whatever it was that was bothering him would definitely have to come out tonight.

***************************************

It wasn’t until close to one in the morning when Meredith showed up at the house. She was still in the clothes she wore from work, but had a half a bottle of tequila in one hand and her bag in the other. Alex stared at her approaching form and asked,

“Late shift?”

“Extra long surgery.”

“Kids?”

“Nanny agreed to stay the night for a little extra.”

Alex lifted the beer he had up to his lips and took a slow sip. The kids were taken care of and she had half a bottle yet she wasn’t even tipsy. Why was she sober? That didn’t seem right to Alex, especially after seeing her mood today. Then again, he knew was pretty tipsy. It didn’t seem right to him for anybody to be sober. Alex took another sip.

“Where’d the other half of that go?”

He could hear the slight slur, but at the moment he didn’t really care. She knew he was drinking to get drunk tonight.

“It’s what’s left of the stash I keep in my car for the bad days. Figured today was a good day to finish it off so I can go buy a new one.”

Meredith had finally sat down next to him, purse and coat laying in the chair next to them, with the now open bottle in her grasp.

But she didn’t drink.

Why wasn’t she drinking?

Another sip.

“Why aren’t you drinking? Didn’t you come here to drink?”

Meredith just shrugged and stared at the bottle in her hands.

“Okay, seriously Mer, what the hell is going on?”

“I thought we weren’t going to do the talk about our problems thing?” She asked without looking at him.

He rolled his eyes, of course that would come back. This was probably some ploy to get him to talk about his own problems. Maybe. Damn, he really needed to either drink faster or stop.

He took a gulp.

“I don’t want to talk about my problems but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen to yours.”

As much as he was able to at this point anyways.

Meredith looked at him with narrowed eyes for a moment. What did she think he was doing, planning to end her career? He already almost did that, thank you. He’s not going to do again.

“Derek and I are… taking a break.”

Even he didn’t miss the pause.

Another gulp.

“What the hell does a break mean?”

_Now_ she took a drink of her tequila. Progress. So McDreamy drama is what’s put her in a bad mood. Figures.

Another gulp.

“It means that we’ve been fighting for so long I suggested we take a little time.”

“To do what exactly?”

She took another gulp. Interesting. She may get drunk after all.

“… I don’t know.”

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back.

He stared at her exhausted looking face for a moment. Everything she’s been through and she still can’t get the happy ending with Derek. Maybe there is no such thing as soulmates.

Two gulps.

“Drink more, it gives clarity.”

She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him, “Actual advice or personal experience?”

He knew what that question was supposed to get him to talk. Dammit.

Another gulp.

“Joe broke up with me.”

Another gulp.

“She said she couldn’t be in a relationship with someone who had some one else as their person.”

They both took a gulp. She was finally getting on the same page as him.

“Sorry.”

“Not your fault”, he sighed, “I could have told you to leave that night.”

“But you didn’t.”

“No.”

They both took a gulp.

“Why _did_ you let me kick her out of your bed?”, she looked at him as if she didn’t already know the answer. She _had_ to know the answer. She was the only one that really understood him now.

He shrugged, “Why did you listen to Christina’s advice about thinking about your own career before moving with Derek?”

She nodded. She took another gulp.

“We agreed to have an open relationship while we are taking a break.”

Alex almost spit out his newest mouthful of beer.

“Like dating and sex?”

She flinched slightly. Barely. But enough.

“ _No dating_ ”, she said firmly.

He hesitated. Another gulp.

“So sex? With other people?”

She took another gulp and leaned her head against the couch again.

“Not… Not exactly. Space. Neither of said yes when sex came up.”

“But neither of you said no.”

“Yes.”

Another gulp.

“I think you win the ‘my problems are worse’ contest.”

She smiled. Almost. More like a twitch of her lips. He will call that a success.

He set his beer on the coffee table.

“What do you want to do?”

She turned to look at him with confusion on her face, “What?”

He rolled his eyes, “Drink, talk, both or sleep?”

She looked at the clock. He wondered if she was thinking about Zola and Bailey. Probably. She was a good mom. Even with her McDreamy problems.

“Sleep.”

He nodded and stood. Before he could head for the stairs she stopped him.

“Can I take over your bed again?”

He shrugged, “Sure.”

They walked up the stairs and headed over to the master bedroom and climbed into his bed together. They faced each other in the dark. Alex closed his eyes.

“Thank you.”

Alex opened his. He could barely see her staring at him. He nodded slowly and closed his eyes again.

***************************************


End file.
